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Posts

Friday, August 22, 2008

Jesus axed by Council


Jesus, Joseph and Mary!

I dae deeply apologise aboot bringing up Christmas fan it is still summer, dreich though it is, but there's a major news story up in these pairts.

Some of you may ken 'at, despite being the oil capital o' Europe, Aiberdeen's finest local politicians hae made a wee sotter wi' the pucklie o' siller they hae to spend and are somewhat overdrawn wi' the bankie.

Noo, in order tae get oot o' this guddle, the cooncil hae decided they cannae afford a full blown nativity. They can only manage a Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus, so they hae decided to scrap the idea a'tigither an' it looks affa like there'll be nae lichties in Ingin Street either. Ginging for your pressies and messages will be even mair o' a scunner noo.

I'm fair glad am nae a toonser, min. Nivver fash, Xmas isnae cancelled just yet oot in Toyland
™.

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Criminal Negligence


"PA Consulting Group transforms the performance of organisations. Clients call on our independent, employee-owned, global firm when they want an innovative solution, a highly responsive approach, and delivery of hard results."

PA Consulting Group might want to reconsider this slogan.

A contractor working for the Home Office has lost a computer memory stick containing personal details about tens of thousands of criminals.

The lost data includes details about 10,000 prolific offenders as well as information on all 84,000 prisoners in England and Wales.

The data on the stick also includes information from the Police National Computer of some 30,000 people with six or more convictions in the last year.

David Smith, Deputy Commissioner in the Information Commissioner's Office, said the latest loss showed that personal information could be a "toxic liability" if not handled properly.

"It is deeply worrying that after a number of major data losses and the publication of two government reports on high profile breaches of the Data Protection Act, more personal information has been reported lost," he said.

I was just thinking about the gravy train I've alluded to in the past and then I read on. Guess what? I wasn't the only one to think laterally.

Shadow Home Secretary Dominic Grieve said there had been a "massive failure of duty".

He said: "What is more scandalous is that it is not the first time that the government has been shown to be completely incapable of protecting the integrity of highly sensitive data, rendering them unfit to be charged with protecting our safety.

"The British taxpayer will be absolutely outraged if they are made to pick up the bill for compensation to serious criminals."

So much for the tougher data laws.

Looking forward to Jacqui Spliff's views on this latest debacle, because someone has certainly lost their memory.

Update: Nice try at a body swerve Ms Teflon, but it is still your Department's responsibility to secure the data and physically prevent anyone downloading/transferring it against protocols. If it has been transferred as suggested, will she be prosecuting? Let's see.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Perils of Polygamy


Nigeria's Islamic authority has told a man who has 86 wives to choose only four and repent within three days or else he will be sentenced to death.

The former teacher and Muslim preacher lives in Niger State with his wives and at least 170 children, and says he is able to cope only with the help of God.

"A man with 10 wives would collapse and die, but my own power is given by Allah. That is why I have been able to control 86 of them,"

I say, one is too many and how the heck is he still alive?

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Can you dig it?


Across the pond the Polis are considering creating a new specialist support unit.

I fancy a stint as Master Splinter.

Listening to:
The Mock Turtles - Can You Dig It? via FoxyTunes

© Mr Plod
Published by Toy Town™ Times

Friday, August 15, 2008

In the Summertime


I'm back from my gallivanting and can I be the first to say "Ha Ha Mourinho."

The weather has been mixed (that's Doric for shite), but for a change it appears those southwards have not been overly blessed with sunshine. Being a typical Scot me and the sunshine don't exactly see eye to eye, inasmuch as mair freckles and red raw skin are nae my cup o' tea. However, a wee bit more rays would not have gone amiss.

Typically, I had to go to the end of the earth
(well to she who has to be obeyed's family croft) to get the best weather!

Dhunan view

Up in these parts the sheep are always happy.

So, what else has been happening since I was away. The youngest got all his Standard Grades (what used to be 'O' grades/levels) and all top grades too. I think back to his early days and his autistic spectrum 'problems' and this is nothing short of amazing. He deserved his large hug fae his Pa! (Somehow I think he will be looking for something more material though).

The eldest turns 21 today. It is time he was given the key to his own bleedin' door! (I'm joking loon!)

One thing I will say is that having spent a ridiculous amount of time behind some clown on the A9 who didn't read the bit in the Highway Code about CONSIDERATION FOR OTHER ROAD USERS, this is far overdue, even if it is being supported by another clown, who will be safe in the knowledge that his adored team will not be disgracing themselves in Europe. Well, off the pitch anyway!!!!

So what's been going on since I've been away in the hive of activity that is the Highlands?

Georgia beat Russia ............ in the quine's beach volleyball at the Olympix anyway. I know, I was transfixed by this event. I even found out from the commentary team that the 2 Georgians were Brazilians. I know the outfits were skimpy, but how did they know that? I've heard of drug testing, but rug testing....... I'll get my hiviz.

But, otherwise most of the news has been crap.

In pseudo DBA Dude booze review mode, I can report that, whilst away, I popped into a Teuchter Tesco (f.a.o. AnneDroid - anither 'een!) and found this smashing wee drop. I should have bought more 'cos it has yet to hit Tesco's shelves locally.

Back to work next week, so maybe something Polis related to follow, but mind, I have a life!


Listening to: Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime via FoxyTunes

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

A little irony


Name : Iosef Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili aka Stalin
D.O.B. : 18/12/1878
P.O.B. & Nationality : Go check!

Anyone else think this is a wee bit ironic?

© Noddy

Published by Toy Town™ Times

Monday, August 11, 2008

Semper Vigilo


A virtual postcard fer yiv a', fan I'm gallivanting aboot Scotland, wishing you a' yi wish yersel.

I'm blogging fae deepest Toy Land at my ickle bruvver's hoose jist noo, but I hae bin oot and aboot in Perthshire, Ross-shire and Sutherland. You can see some photos here.

n.b. There's a special wee fotie fer AnneDroid en a'.

© Noddy
Published by Toy Town™ Times